Many times there has been a debate about the clothing of women and men and to what extent they can be striking or attractive. Some very conservative positions teach that clothing should not be too bright because it can lead to a sin of pride or vanity.
I think it is a very difficult point to affirm if we base ourselves solely on that aspect. We ourselves in this blog have indicated many times that we do not agree with some types of garments, but we must be very careful to think that by this we mean to hide beauty, healthy comfort or create some kind of dogmatic behavior, since this is a mistake.
As children of God who belong to a modern society, we must in some cases be mature enough to discern some scenarios where clothing should be empathic with the environment. I think that a young person is better off dressing in youthful clothes (without falling into extravagance or vulgarity) because in a certain way this helps to create closeness and not make the other feel condemned or threatened. After all, no one likes to have things forced on them, not even Jesus did. The gospel must be presented, not imposed.
The dogma that destroys marriages
In this sense, and focusing on the subject in question, I have seen many cases of couples who, in the beginning, used to arrange for each other. The wife or girlfriend took care of her appearance, dressed up, selected the best clothes to please her beloved. Likewise, the man perfumed himself, took care of his physical appearance, his hair, etc. But at some point, influenced by religiosity or by “ecclesiastical norms” they stopped doing it, causing the attraction of one for the other to gradually diminish.
Many will perhaps say at this point that love does not take these details into account, that it looks at the heart above appearances, and I agree. But one thing is a voluntary acceptance of both and another is that one or both stop investing in caring for or beautifying themselves for the other.
Some time ago I saw the case of a pastor who, falling into religiosity, began to demand of his wife a very conservative way of dressing, forbidding creams, perfumes, and some types of clothing. This pastor turned his wife into a person who did not attract him in any way, she was not the woman he married, but a rigid modification product of caprice and religiosity. Over time, this individual ended up falling into infidelity with other younger women of the congregation and if they used to make up.
Now I ask: was there a need to get into this? Was it more important for God to take care of clothing than to preserve the marriage, the family unit? How far can religiosity go to destroy basic principles?
Paul warns us 1 Timothy 3 that for a man to be fit for the ministry he must have a “family” of testimony, but this does not refer to a foreman with a whip hitting with laws and regulations that are not written in the Word and that instead of building what they end up with is creating fractures and even contempt between the parties.
Christian clothing when you have a non-believing partner
Today there are many Christian women with unconverted partners who make this mistake, certainly, as a woman you are called to live differently and remove some customs, but this does not mean that you eliminate from your life the ability to look beautiful for your husband. Currently there are many types of garments that go very well with the style of each woman and maintain decorum.
However, some daughters of God, letting themselves be carried away by people, come to add yokes to their lives that Jesus never demanded of them, causing their husbands or, in the case of men, wives; they become disenchanted.
God in his Word will always help us to know the limits we have and how far we can go with the help of his Spirit. He knows our needs and he knows each of our concerns, especially in the family, so if we pray to him, he will always guide us properly, step by step to gain grace in God without making these kinds of mistakes.
There are even Christian couples today who urgently need to renew their lives in this sense, especially in privacy, when they are inside their home, in the secret place, where that important first love is often lost.
All couples should be like boyfriends, constantly renewing themselves, but not for others to see, but for your partner to see, because you are a child of God and understand that the family, especially marriage after God is the most important thing.