We are going to get away from the main theme of our site to touch on a topic that has often been discussed on social networks and is always touched on in one way or another in a very superficial way, speaking only of the tip of the iceberg. There are currently many Christians who are still waiting for their ideal partner, the one that God has for them, who are already of an age to get married, including resources, a good job and yet nothing at all… What could be happening? In this article I will share a series of tips on some errors that you possibly need to correct and that are being a stumbling block so that the ideal help that you are waiting for so much arrives.
Before I begin, I must tell you that all of this is based on a fundamental principle: God loves you. So he wants the best for you, even when that best means being alone. God knows our heart in a complete way, even, he knows those things that we think we are incapable of doing, but that if we are subjected to a test in that we will surely not pass the exam. He knows it and takes care of it for us and although we ask for many things, He will not give it to us until we are really prepared to bear it. It goes without saying that one of these things is the relationship, marriage and family.
A high opinion of ourselves
This is the common denominator present in almost all cases. When referring to a high concept, I am not talking about self-esteem, but about that belief that we stand out above the rest of humanity and that therefore, the ideal person for us must meet a series of requirements in order to earn the right to run for election in our lifetime. This is a rather childish belief and out of reality. The Christian who thinks like this does not realize that he is also an imperfect person and that in the depths of his being he expects his spouse to be able to understand and love this imperfection, but nevertheless he is not capable of throwing it out. one side that filter towards others, so it ends up being a stumbling block to genuinely get to know that other person. Everyone longs to be loved, but few want to love; everyone wants to be understood, but nobody wants to understand; therefore they live waiting for what is not real and that is why it never comes to them.
What I am in private is blocking that manifestation
This is another of the most common points, and it is something that has more to do with what God approves of me and what he allows in my life. God as a loving Father does not want us to live bad experiences, although perhaps we often encourage them, in many cases he will show us his love, even taking care of ourselves and our bad decisions.
We tend to believe many times that we are prepared to have a spouse, a family, etc; but who really knows if this is true is God. An easy way to test who we will be when we have our partner is, for example, to analyze the treatment we currently have with our closest loved ones. If, for example, in the case of men with my mother or sister whom I have known all my life and who know everything about me, I am capable of behaving selfishly, cruelly and stubbornly, it is very certain that I will end up treating my future in the same way. wife. In the case of women, if I am not able to have respect towards my father or my brother or a very close loved one; I will transmit that same toxicity to my relationship. It may happen that the first days this does not happen, because it is in the first love, in the stage of seduction,
God knows this, because he knows us better than we know ourselves, he knows what we can really become and beforehand takes care of that. Therefore, he can prevent a relationship from coming into our lives until he works on each and every one of these areas to make us truly fit for a relationship. He does not want to ruin the blessing that marriage means, he wants us to live the best experience of it and he will do everything possible to make it happen.
The boy or girl who refuses to grow up
Many times we tend to take relationships as a romantic adventure, too childish and carefree. We always want to live in an eternal spring, but the reality is that a couple must be prepared to face terrible nights and cold winters. In this sense, if I want spring in my life, I must be willing to put up with winter, or I simply won’t have either.
Relationships, marriage are not a game nor a romantic novel where everything is rosy; rather it is a reality where two people participate, with different feelings, of flesh and blood, who can be hurt and wounded and who need someone who understands the importance of this. Would you be able to give a child a weapon of destruction? In no way, this responsibility is only for mature people, who understand the importance of it, and with maturity I do not mean age, but the fact of understanding and valuing these principles and having a very clear awareness of what it represents.
If what you love is having fun, doing teenage things, having your 4 x 6 space in your room where you lock yourself in your world, where no one else can enter to invade your privacy; then don’t look for a relationship because you simply won’t be ready. Relationships imply a social approach, getting out of our comfort zone many times and being willing to leave our space to give it to another. A serious relationship and above all “lasting and stable” can only be carried out by people who have already learned to support other people, who already know what it means to take charge of a home, of each of the responsibilities and who have this value well. marked. If for some reason a child takes responsibility for a home, he will end up destroying it or making others very unhappy by having to put up with his tantrums,
The inability to make crucial decisions
Taking on a challenge means being willing to risk; but in no way should these risks be based on what openly does not suit us. When we talk about taking risks, we should not do it leaving aside what God in his Word advises us, on the contrary, that should be our first starting point.
However, if we take this first piece of advice into account, then we must be prepared for the second, and that is to take the risk of making decisions and not be afraid of the future. Many children of God have already found a partner who shares their faith, who lives a life of testimony, but they are not able to take the risk because they fear failure or because their inner child is not capable of facing that challenge. This case is unfortunate, especially in believers who have already been carrying this cross for many years, they have not realized that fear has made them cowards and that they are stuck in the past living a life that they should have already overcome, everything for fear of the future, of themselves and what others may say about them.
A poor social environment
The truth is that it is very difficult to find someone who is hiding or who openly does not want to be found. This point is very curious, but it is still true, since there are many children of God who really wait for someone to come and get them out of where they are hiding and invite them for ice cream or propose them a date. This may be possible, but in 98% of cases it will not.
In order to meet people, you need to interact with people, have a group of friends in the Church with whom you can spend special moments and there, little by little, meet friends who can later become closer friends to the point of creating a connection. It is not that you go around with a sign saying “I need someone to share with”, it is that if you are not able to have friends, how do you expect to have a partner, when friendship is the first step?
Being too closed will not help you at all and in fact God does not want us to be hermits without the ability to sympathize with others, especially when we have been called to win souls, to preach the gospel; He is not looking for theologians who stand on a pedestal to give sermons, but people who can empathize and connect with the needs of others, and this can only be learned by socializing.
know what you want
It is essential that we know from a conscious and real point of view what we want to find, for this it is necessary to pray to God to help us choose what is best for us and not what we think, because many times we can be waiting for something that we do not need in our life or that really does not complement our being in the face of the family, our call, etc. In this we must ask for wisdom and we can see what the Lord really wants us to see and desire. It is important to be happy and satisfied once we receive it in our life.
For now, I’m going to leave it here, although there are more points we could talk about. Each of us needs to pray to God to help us correct those things that are holding us back in our relationship, in our ministry, in our work, etc. For now, take some time to reflect and see if you are in any of these cases. Leave me your opinion or comments, I will be happy to receive your feedback.
God bless you greatly!